Managing Transition Day Nightmares
Transitioning kids between households is among the worst aspects of co-parenting!
I’ve experienced the worst meltdowns with both of my kids when it was time for them to go to their Dad’s.
My nerves would slowly fray as the hour of pick-up would loom. My daughter wouldn’t back her bags; my son would declare that he hated his dad’s house and storm into his room.
Temper tantrums, harsh words, deep grief…all combine to make transition days the perfect storm.
Crabby ex shows up and becomes even more irritated and unreasonable because kids aren’t ready.
So how do we find peace in the storm?
When I practice what I preach and apply my coaching tools, I remember that only I can create the emotional outcome for myself. I can’t control anyone else’s. They alone can storm, rage, threaten, cry, and I can decide that I’m going to stay calm no matter what
How? I teach that our thoughts are what create our feelings and then our actions.
If I think “I’m such a terrible Mom for putting my kids through this” or “How the *bleep* am I going to get these kids ready so they’re Dad doesn’t blow up at me?” then I’m going to be overcome with sadness, fear and anxiety.
If I instead to choose to feel peace and calm I’m going to choose and intentional thought like:
“Nothing has gone wrong here. Transition days are hard, but I don’t have to fix it for my kids.”
“If my ex is angry it’s not my issue, I can watch the storm without getting wet.”
“I’m dealing with this situation as well and even better as anyone in this situation.”
This is how you change bad experiences: you decide to think differently about them.
You think about them in a way that serves you; not that depletes you. The nightmare can be transformed into simple, every day reality with a shift in perspective