End the Struggle With Your Teen
Right now it might feel like you live in a war zone. Your difficult teen is unpredictable, unmanageable and ready to fight you on anything and everything. She thinks she knows everything. You don’t know when the next bomb is going to drop. Nasty comments. Refusal to do as you ask. You feel like you walk on eggshells. You’re also afraid of your own angry reaction which just adds fuel to the fire and makes an already difficult situation worse. And when you react badly, you beat yourself up for being a “bad” mother. It’s a painful cycle that seems impossible to change.
Peace and Connection Can Be Restored
You can create a new relationship with your teen that promotes love, understanding and peace. You can parent them in an empowering way that supports your wish to be a good mother and guide your teen into becoming a respectful, responsible and mature adult. It’s not going to happen overnight. You’ll need patience with the process, but over time you’ll see amazing outcomes.
Who needs to change?
We’re conditioned as parents to believe that it’s our kids who need to change and improve. Rarely do we consider our own part in the relationship. We have a huge impact on our teen in how we speak and think about them. We blame them for being overly emotional or hostile, rude or disconnected but we fail to notice how OUR emotions and failure to regulate them contributes to the dynamic.
How we relate to our teen
When we take time to examine ourselves, we notice that we have a lot of negative thoughts about our challenging teen. We believe these thoughts are just “observations” of our teen’s bad behavior. But, there’s many ways to think about behavior. We respond with thoughts that are conditioned with “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” and judgments based on our own upbringing.
These thoughts impact all the ways we show up as a parent with our teen. We think we’re just reacting to our teen as he or she “really is”. The truth is we always view and evaluate their behavior through a filter of conditioned thoughts and beliefs about them. Do these thoughts sound famiar?
“She’s extremely stubborn;” “She’s argumentative and nothing’s ever her fault;” “We butt heads;” “He can be brutally mean;” “He’s lying to me all the time”; “She just has a difficult personality;” “She can be super sweet when she wants something;” “He’s so defiant all the time.”
Coaching gives you the tools to create change
Therapy seeks to bring clients from a dysfunctional place to a “normal” functioning level and focuses more on emotions and how the client feels. Much time is spent on exploring the historical roots of problems. The therapist is viewed as the expert, and the client is treated as a patient with inherent psychological disorders.
Coaching is not therapy
Coaching is a partnership between coach and client. It offers deep insight and practical tools for change, growth, and understanding to achieve the results you want in your life. You’ll learn the root cause of your difficulties and how to take the steps to transform your life. The coaching process supports the client in transforming belief systems, thought patterns, and behaviors that don’t provide the results they want in life: relationships, career, and overall wellness. I’ve watched clients reach such high levels of personal, interpersonal, and professional life growth.
And all this can be accomplished within a fraction of the time taken with traditional therapy.